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Cash money, Catholic, Catholic History Nerd, confusion, money, musings, parish hoppers, parish hopping, priests, thoughts, Young Adults Group
Do you know Sarah? If you don’t know Sarah, you should go read more about her — she has a strong appreciation for Catholic prison food. Anyways, more than a year ago (Yea, yea, I know. I’m a super-duper blog stalker.) Sarah wrote about her experiences as a parish-hopper. It was a really interesting read for me because it gave me a closer look at something I don’t understand: parish hopping.
Hey Sarah! I Googled “Catholic History Nerd” and this was the third image to come up! You’re welcome. (I don’t think you’re getting a Papal Facepalm, but I thought it was funny.)
How I First Realized That Some People Belong to More Than One Parish
I’ll never forget the first time I realized that there were people out there who belong to/are involved in more than one parish. It was at our first outing with the Young Adults Group at our parish. “Where else do you go?” Was a common question around the table.
Credit: Catholic Journal. (Parish-hopping priests?)
This was confusing to me for a number of reasons:
- As someone who has spent the last 25 years of her life moving around the world, finding one parish and “settling down” has always been one of the most important ways for me to make a new place “home.”
- During my childhood, my family only parish-hopped once. We belonged to one parish that was close to our house and we belonged to another parish further away where we also went to school. The two years we spent splitting our time between churches were pretty confusing for me. (Important note: I was 10, so my confusion was sort of understandable.)
- I have enough trouble being my charming, friendly self (and getting in good with the pastor) at one parish. The idea that I would have to go through the whole “introduce myself and bake banana bread” rigmarole a two or more parishes is terrifying to me.
The good news is that I’m not alone in my confusion. I asked my grandma about it and she (ever pragmatic, this one) asked me to find out how parish-hoppers determine their weekly contribution. (She also referred to someone’s second parish as “a mistress.” That’s pretty deep.)
So, parish hoppers! How do you determine your weekly contribution? Do you feel like you’re involved with all of the parishes to which you hop? How did you become a parish hopper?
Super Swell Times 
We’re parish hoppers. Sad, I know…but we usually attend Mass the closest parish but are official registered with one further away (that we love) and we take part in a few activities at the further parish. We’re not really involved at the close parish (other than attending Mass). And, we only financially contribute to the parish we are officially registered with.
Thanks for your response, Amelia! I don’t think it’s sad so much as it is different, you know?
Just out of curiosity, is there a reason why you aren’t registered at both parishes?
YES! YES! YES! YES! YESSSS!!!
I parish hopped for the first 8 months of my “adult life” until I realized that one of the sources of my restlessness was not “belonging” somewhere…namely, a parish. I did impulsively join a parish and have since found one that is a much better fit. Being an active member in my parish has been something inherent to my life since childhood, so being able to carry that into adulthood is such a blessing. PLUS, it’s so fun now that people are starting to realize that I’m sticking around and they KNOW me!!!
Oh, and during my parish hopping days, I didn’t tithe consistently. Like at all. Partly because of laziness and partly because I didn’t feel any loyalty to one parish. Bad news bears.
YAY! I’m so glad that my post resonated with you! I just felt so disconnected from my faith and in a weird sort of way, my life when I was hip hopping around.
And I totally agree on the people getting to know me thing. I’m meeting so many people/gaining so many new friends now that people in my parish recognize me. I would never have a reason to meet any of them if it weren’t for the fact that I’m at the same mass all the time.
So here is the thing about Parish Hopping. More than likely people doing it aren’t doing #3 or worried about it. Most of them are going to mass and leaving and not really attempting to get involved in the parish-life.
So over the years I’ve done this but my dad sorta did it too….especially in the summer time when he wasn’t working (he was a teacher) if he didn’t feel like seeing ppl he knew or getting dressed up we’d go to another parish (I know not good reasons).
I sorta parish hop. Honestly it really just depends on what I have going on in my life and when I want to go to mass. I contribute to one parish though (comes out of my bank account the first weekend of the month) and am pretty involved there. Although I did just move so I’m thinking about maybe joining some groups/bible study’s that my current parish doesn’t have. Several years ago I went to a young adult group at another parish….because the parish I belonged to didn’t have one. I know parish hopping happens a lot with young adults and a lot of it is because we’re so mobile and always moving.
But I also do it because I enjoy visiting churches. I love going seeing what makes them different. I love hearing different priests homilies…and part of that is belonging to a parish with awful homilies for 8 years. It’s not ideal but we’re not doing it to be disrespectful or anything and at least we’re at mass 🙂
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Beth Anne! (Side note: I’m an Elizabeth Ann and my ma was all about getting me to be a Beth Ann but I was not having it.)
I didn’t even think about the visiting new churches angle. Maybe it’s because I bounce around so much to visit friends and family that I have plenty of opportunities to see other churches while I’m on the road — but I wouldn’t call that parish hopping.
Oh man, you’ve given me so much to think about!
Yeah I’m actually Elizabeth Anne (with an E) but have always gone by Beth Anne (long story..it’s probably on my blog ha).
Yeah I think it also depends where you live in some cities there is literally a different catholic church every 5 blocks…in others it’s miles…
We definitely have a home parish, but sometimes we attend other parishes because the Mass times are more convenient. I almost never go to confession at our parish because the times don’t line up with my schedule. One parish near us regularly has events that include free babysitting, which is great for parents of young kids. I’m also involved in a diocesan moms group and sometimes a bunch of us will sign up for a Bible study or retreat held by one member’s parish. So I don’t know if I’m a parish hopper exactly, but I don’t restrict all of my activity to just my home parish. We do automatic donations to our registered parish, but of course pay materials fees and make donations for the specific activities we participate in elsewhere.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I appreciate all the insight into what your life/relationship with your parish is like.
We have become sort of Parish hoppers. I mean, we just became Catholic, but the Church we belong to we have now had our son baptized there, went through RCIA, had our own baptism/confirmations and wedding there this year. Our son goes to school there, we are involved in a lot of events there. That is our HOME.
But, my husband picked up a second job and works 10 hours M-Th, and 5 hours (in the morning Sat/Sun). We try to go to Mass as a family at our Church on Sat evening, but lately we have been missing and going to the Cathedral in St Paul which has a “last chance” Mass at 5pm on Sunday. I feel AWFUL when we miss at ours because, that is home! Also, confession usually works better at another Parish for our schedule.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I love hearing all the different reasons/schedules that people have for attending certain parishes.
I have to admit that when I wrote this post I was super “I don’t get it” about parish hopping but now that I’ve gotten so many great responses I have a much better understanding of how that ends up happening.
Thanks!
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