Last night The Colbert Report ended after 9 years on the air. On the one hand, I’m happy that he’s moving on to bigger and brighter things (and a larger audience). On the other hand, I’m sad to see him go, because I’ve deeply loved The Colbert Report for almost a decade and I’m not sure if Larry Wilmore can fill that void for me.
So, as Stephen T. Colbert, DFA heads off into the sky with Santa, Alex Trebek and Abraham Lincoln, I thought I’d tell you 7 things that I learned from watching the show:
Patriotism is okay, y’all. It’s great, even! I’ve had this ongoing existential crisis with my American-ness. I could go into it, but I won’t. Either way, The Colbert Report‘s dogged commitment to all things America let me put my deep thoughts of third culture on the back burner and just enjoy cheeseball Americana.
- I really really care about the Olympics.
During the Vancouver Olympics, we had a (now former) friend in from out of town. Every night, we would religiously tune into The Colbert Report‘s coverage. This friend — and here you’ll see why she’s a former friend — would go on and on about how “stupid” this all was. Prior to that moment, I didn’t really just how much I cared about the Olympics.
The same thing happened during A Colbert Christmas, actually.
- Bud Light Lime is a tasty and refreshing beverage year round.
- It’s cool to be Catholic.
Just based on my readership stats, I’m assuming you all know that Stephen Colbert is Catholic. If you didn’t, you should know that he is and he’s great. (Also, here’s a great listicle about why we should all be pumped to have a Catholic on The Late Show.)
- That being said, you still look like a dweeb when you attempt Liturgical Dance.
- One really stellar character is all you need.
In case you’ve been living under a rock (or if you happen to just be really, really dense) the Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report is a character. I mean, it’s a really stellar character, but it’s a character nonetheless.
And I’m pretty sure that that’s all you need.
Not to get all deep and existential here (what can I say? Colbert brings out the philosopher in me), but don’t we all pick a character for ourselves at various points in our lives? If you end up developing one great way to be in your entire life, you can fly off into the sky happy.
- Bill O’Reilly will probably never love me.
For more quick takes, run — do not walk — to This Ain’t the Lyceum.