It seems like every month or so, my work buddies (or brother) and I get trapped in a black vortex of buzzword hate. Yesterday, while I had a slow moment in the computer lab, I enlisted two of my cohort to supply me with a new list of despise-able buzzwords.
Let’s begin!
Julian really came through for me with a list of deplorable words that are misused for corporate pursuits. Here are my “favorites:”
- Hack — anything is worse if you add the word hack to it.
- Move the Needle — I understand that this is a spedometer reference. Or maybe a soundwave thing. Either way, it’s a really silly way to talk about things being successful.
- Mindshare — No one’s ever actually said this to me, so I’m a little unclear as to what it’s supposed to mean. I think it means that we’re all going to sit around in a circle and talk about our thoughts and stuff.
- Deep Dive — Because apparently we use SCUBA terms to describe reporting these days.
I really appreciated Julian’s efforts to expand my knowledge of buzzwords that ruin everything, but I felt like consulting another source. Enter Andy:
We’ve talked about “loop in” before, but Andy’s knowledge of “Deep Dive” leads me to believe that it may, in fact, be the worst buzzword of the week.
What do you think fellow buzzword dislikers? Is “deep dive” the absolute worst thing you’ve ever heard, or just one of the worst things you’ve ever heard?
Super Swell Times 
OMG I HATE the word HACK as well!! GO AWAY!! I think b/c the original use I ever heard was like “hacking up a lung” or coughing so it sounds gross.
But oddly any blog post you add “hack” too gets a TON of views and sometimes goes viral so it’s a win-lose.
I’m going to start titling all my posts things with the word “Hack” in there.
Because I’m a jerk.
HAHA it would be funny if you did that and then got a ton of new pageviews from it
And a hack hack here and a hack hack there. Here a hack, there a hack, everywhere a hack hack.
Come at me, page view bros.
Some lifehacks really are game-changers, though! For example: when you get to the end of a box of dry cereal, pour it through a strainer in the sink. No more gross crumbly bits in your bowl!
My Professional Writing professor in college said, “MacGyver utilizes. We mere mortals use.” “Utilize” is not better because it has more syllables!
Bahahaha about the MacGyver bit!
I love the gross crumbly bits, though. I think they make a really tasty milk slurry.
I think that is the only time I’ve ever seen “slurry” used in a positive context. That’s skill.
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