I’ve gotten a few emails asking me about ye olde Natural Family Planning, known here in the blogosphere as NFP. So far, I’ve managed to demure on the issue but I’ve decided that now is the time for me to say something.

I’m not going to talk about it.

There, I said something. Happy now?

There’s a number of reasons why I’ve elected not to share that part of my life with you all for the time being and here are seven of them:

  • Because modesty is about more than just the clothing you wear.

Lindsay had a great post awhile ago about modesty in speech/how we ought to be very careful when we choose to share intimate details of our lives with friends, co-workers and baristas. I’ve really taken that to heart. At the end of the day, talking about NFP is not for me because I choose to keep that part of my life private.

  • Because I’m not twee enough to talk about sex like many married people.

Seriously. If I ever write the word “baby dust” in a non-snarky manner, you have my permission to call my next-of-kin and have me committed. Sex is great and beautiful and Holy, so I’m not why newlyweds feel compelled to adopt 12-year old AIM speak when they talk about it.

Which leads me to my next point…

  • And also because “we’re practicing” is the grossest thing ever said or written.

Hork

I’ve been thinking about the expression “We’re practicing!” and trying to articulate why it bothers me so much for awhile now. I think I’ve distilled it into a few salient ideas:

  1. It’s not cute.
  2. The idea that your entire sexual relationship up until pregnancy is “practicing” to get pregnant makes me sad. Do you really mean to imply that if the sex isn’t knocking you up (or practicing to knock you up) that it means nothing? Why cheapen your relationship like that?
  3. Along the same vein, I find the expression to be more than a little insensitive to folks that are struggling to grow their families (or maybe can’t have children at all). If you having sex with your spouse is “practicing,” then what is it for them? Pointless? Well that’s dumb.
  • Because I like my blog friends and don’t want to hurt their feelings.

This is us, friends! I don’t want to ruin it.

While I certainly don’t want to thoughtlessly offend any of my friends who may be struggling with infertility, I also don’t want to offend my blog friends who are out there being single and stuff.

Because — and be honest here — would you really still like me so much if my blog went hardcore NFP/TTC/WTF/BBQ all day every day?

  • Because my Dad reads my blog.

Hi Dad!

  • And also because half of my cousins and in-laws also read my blog.

I know you’re out there and I don’t want to gross you out, okay? Also, I never want to eat dinner with people who have been forced to read about basal body temperature. Ever.

  • Because my husband said “no.”

…and that’s a perfectly okay reason by me.

For more quick takes, hop skip and jump on over to This Ain’t the Lyceum.

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