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This is what my clients look like all the time.

It’s been awhile since we’ve talked about reasons why my clients are yelling at me. This is partially because my clients haven’t been able to yell at me much lately — because I’ve been doing crazy stuff like leaving the country for two weeks with no email. Still, the dreaded “Holiday Season” is upon us now and that means that someone is yelling at me.

Here are some reasons why:

“[I] don’t want to ruin your Thanksgiving/Christmas/Weekend….”

This is not a reason to yell at me, but it is usually how they start off their tirades. Let’s take a minute to get a few things straight: first, you aren’t going to ruin my anything. I work for myself, so uh, yea. Second — actually, there is no second thing. Just trust me when I say that you aren’t going to ruin my holiday.

“I want to enjoy my holiday!”

I want to enjoy my holiday, too, which is why we scheduled this meeting to discuss what needs to happen before we all go away for the holidays. Yelling at me about how I need to “go hard in the paint” before Christmas does not endear you to me.

“We need to start 2015 off right!”

This always comes before they issue an enormous list of things they’d like me to do “in [my] down time over the holiday.” Here’s the thing, if I’m working, it’s not “down time.” I completely understand that you want to get the ball rolling on the new year, but don’t patronize me about what I need to do.

“I’ll just email you!”

I like to give my clients plenty of warning for times that I’ll be even remotely out of touch — like Christmas. This is partly because it’s a friendly thing to do and partly because it helps to manage my anxiety about making things run smoothly. Still, if I’m planning to be out of touch — and I tell you about it — that means I’m not going to be checking my email.

I’m not Santa, so I won’t be working on Christmas.

Now that I’ve written this all out, I’m not sure if I can actually call these “Reasons My Clients Are Yelling.” Maybe I should call this post “Segues My Clients Employ Before Lecturing Me.”

What do you think? Are your clients losing their minds over the holiday season?