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Last night, our motley crew of Michigan Alumni softball players lost our first-round playoff game. Unfortunately, this means that the season is over — but I managed to eke out a few life lessons from the experience. If you’re curious about what you can possibly learn from beer league softball, read on!

Injuries were sustained, y'all.

Injuries were sustained, y’all.

— 1 —

Don’t throw the bat.

knew that the whole point of softball was to hit the ball and run to a base. What they didn’t tell me is that there is a very specific way to rid yourself of the bat after you hit the ball. Here’s a list of places the bat ended up before I got a handle on proper bat divestment:

  1. Hitting the back stop.
  2. On the pitcher’s mound.
  3. At third base.
  4. At first base.
  5. Hitting the umpire.
  6. Hitting the pitcher.

So yea, don’t throw the bat because people get hurt.

— 2 —

If it’s worth playing, it’s worth winning.

On the one hand, it’s fun to play. On the other, it’s funner* to win.

This is what I got when I Googled “If it’s worth playing, it’s worth winning,” which is pretty appropriate given the fact that I played on the Michigan Alumni team.

*Yea, that’s right, I said funner. Get over it.


— 3 —

It’s okay to lose.

Even though it’s super fun to win, it can still be fun to lose — as long as you have the right attitude about it. Also, it helps if the team that’s beating you is fun. If the team that’s beating you is a bunch of jerks about it, then it’s not so great at all. Which brings me to my next quick take.

I don’t even know.

— 4 —

Some people peaked in high school.

Beer league softball is a great way to meet a bunch of people who peaked too soon. Not surprisingly, a lot of the unpleasant teams to play were populated by a bunch of people who seemed to be reliving their high school glory days. I didn’t peak in high school, so I found it amusing to meet so many people who did.

— 5 —

Don’t be a joiner.

It cost 75 dollars to play on the team. That’s kind of a lot of money, right? Still, there were people who joined the team and paid for it that only came to two or three games. That’s weird, right?

— 6 —

Don’t poke the bear.

Sometimes, you’ll meet people who are difficult or unpleasant. Even though you’d like to say something about it, you shouldn’t because it’s not going to be productive.

— 7 —

Sequins makes everything better.

Even though we lost our game, I made a major impression with my sequined playoff cardigan. It’s hard to be sad about leaving when you’re wearing a sequined cardigan.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!