You may or may not know this — because I’ve sort of only mentioned it in passing — but our house was broken into awhile back. It was the first time that anyone had ever stolen anything from me, unless you count the koala Beanie Baby that was wrenched away from my loving custody in grade one or the iPod I left in the computer lab in grade ten. Even though I’m mostly over it at this point, I still wanted to share what I learned with you all.

— 1 —

Robbers take the weirdest stuff.

Maybe I should rephrase this as “Robbers leave the weirdest stuff behind.” Because they do. For example:

  • They took the broken iPhone, but left the Bose speaker dock.
  • They took 6 dinner plates, but left the silver.
  • They took 2 cans of clam chowder, but left all the tastier soups.
  • They took all the jewelry, but left the crystal rosary.
  • They took the change jar, but left the passports.
  • They took the cigarettes, but left the liquor.
  • They took my graduation tassels, but left the antique box they were in.
  • They took a 10 pound bag of hay, but left all the computers and televisions.

Robbers, man. They steal the darndest things.

— 2 —

People are kinder than you may think.

Prior to the break-in, I’d never had to call the police — ever. And I would be lying if I said that I was confident that they would be nice and take me seriously. I also thought that the insurance claims agent would be reticent to help me out.

Happily, I was very, very wrong. Everyone who helped me out — from the police switchboard lady to the detective that came to the house to our insurance agent — was so very kind to me.

— 3 —

Your insurance isn’t good enough.

One of the most upsetting parts of the whole ordeal was the fact that our insurance wouldn’t cover much of what we lost. This is, of course, no one’s fault but our own. Still, we thought we were covered because we didn’t read the fine print.

If you don’t know exactly what your insurance covers, do yourself a favor and go read the fine print. Now.

— 4 —

If it takes you longer than a week to notice it’s missing, you don’t need to replace it.

Did you know that our robbers stole Bret’s Kindle? Us neither. It took us an embarrassingly long time to notice it was gone — because it wasn’t being used. Subsequently, we haven’t replaced it.

— 5 —

Neighbors united against a common enemy can put aside their petty differences.

The only thing I knew about my next door neighbor before all this happened was that he was loud. Now, I know that he’s experienced a break-in (and has the same detective, who thinks it was the same group of people) we go out of our ways to take care of each other.

— 6 —

At the end of the day, it’s just stuff.

When my mother kept telling me that “it’s just stuff” while I was dealing with the police and insurance, I was a little irritated. Sure, it may just be stuff, but it’s my stuff that somebody took. A month or so later, I see her point.

It really is just stuff.

— 7 —

Someone who bought weed in Rogers Park is really upset right now.

Lest you think that I’ve gotten all deep on you, I’ll end this on a funny note. We just could not figure out why the robbers stole 10 pounds of hay. When the detective came over, he explained for us.

Sorry, drug users, that’s totally our fault.

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