— 1 —

Change the sheets.

When I was growing up, we got clean towels on Tuesdays and clean sheets on Thursdays. If I were half the person my mother is, I’d be on a similar schedule. Alas, my current schedule for sheet-changing goes a little something like this: Hrmmmm have I changed these sheets in the past 2 weeks? No? Okay. I should do that now. I realized this morning that it’s probably time.

— 2 —

Go to Meijer.

I need to make a quick run across the border into Indiana for gas and other various goods and sundries. This means that I get to go to Meijer!

— 3 —

Buy toilet paper.

Normally, I have so much toilet paper in the house that we look like doomsday preppers. Our normal levels of preparedness gave me a false sense of security and now we are down to our last roll. This is like a threatcon 4 situation here, people.

— 4 —

Go to the movies.

My friend Stephanie works until 7:30 in a building that is right near a movie theatre. Clearly, this means that we should see all the movies always. So that is what we shall do!

— 5 —

Deal with Bret’s clothes.

One of the newest, “funnest” parts of the whole stay-at-home wife thing is dealing with all of Bret’s clothes. He has a lot of clothes. Holy cow, y’all. There’s dry cleaning and going to the tailor to get stuff fixed and going to the store to return stuff that doesn’t fit. He’s turning into quite the clotheshorse, let me tell you.

What a clotheshorse, amirite?

— 6 —

Start my personal statement.

Googled “Personal Statement Freakout,” got a picture of the Pope. Make of it what you will.

It’s supposed to be 5-6 pages. Excellent.

— 7 —

Catch up with my polygamists.

Some women watch soap operas, I watch shows about Mormon fundamentalists with many wives. Today, for example, a man named Isaiah and his second wife are on a date to Las Vegas while his first wife stays at home with all the kids. The first wife seems less-than-pleased. They all have such great skirts, though.

Blondie is the second wife. She’s in Vegas right now.

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