Certainly, you’ve all heard of the Tumblr Reasons My Son is Crying. If you haven’t, you should take some time one day to check it out. In the spirit of documenting the insane reasons why children burst into tears, I would like to tell you more about the all the excellent reasons why my clients fly into a blind rage.
- I wasn’t available to answer their Skype call at 4 in the morning.
I am the first person to admit that working with people in other time zones presents a pretty unique set of challenges. To compensate, I do my best to be available to my clients at their convenience, so long as they give me notice. (Not even that much notice. We’re talking like, 12 hours here.) Unfortunately, some clients aren’t too keen on giving me notice. They look for me on Skype when I’m sleeping and then they get very, very upset with me.
- I don’t have an advanced degree in Information Systems/Chemistry/Human Resources.
I’m sorry I don’t understand this incredibly specialized term you’re using, sir, but there’s no need to get uppity about it.
- I followed through with a promised work stoppage when they failed to pay me.
- I refused to give them my personal cell phone number.
Until a client buys me a phone and pays for me to text/tweet/call my grandmother to my heart’s content, they can’t have my number. Sorrynotsorry.
- I have other clients.
I got bills, brah. You are not the only one helping me pay them.
- I informed them that I would not be working due to a religious observance.
This is sort of a funny story – if we’re all okay with defining “funny” as “head scratch-inducing and cringe-worthy.” I informed a client that I would be available on a limited basis during the Triduum, but that I would answer all of their messages when I returned on Monday morning. The client was less-than-pleased with my request for “a long weekend.” When I explained that it was due to a religious observance, they replied:
Oh. I wasn’t aware that Easter was a religious thing.
- It took me longer to complete the work than they expected.
I am certain that for every terrible client out there, there are two terrible freelancers. Moreover, it’s completely understandable that most clients are wary of contractors who drag out a project in order to get more money. However, when the difference between what you expected and what actually happened is 12 minutes you need to let it go.
- It took me less time to complete the work than they expected.
This was a weird one. Why are you mad that I’m saving you money?
- I followed their directions.
It’s not my fault that your directions were wrong.